The First Month

{Written 7/31/14} You guys, I have been a mom for 8 weeks... whaaa?! So crazy. Sorry that this post is getting published WAY LATE!!

Honestly, nothing has been so wonderful and comfortable and instinctual and emotional and scary and amazing as these last few weeks have been. I wish I was able to completely remember every single detail. Capture every look, every snuggle, every day in it's simple perfection. 

{Written 7/7/14}

The first day in the hospital, we just enjoyed Izzy, and had more visitors. We also had a photographer come and take some absolutely gorgeous photos of our little family. Everyone was in awe of her beauty, and one nurse even thought that the pictures of her were stock photos of  the model baby used on all the hospital brochures, and was shocked when I told her that it was in fact, not the model baby, but MY baby. /self five for making a stinking gorgeous baby.

We were able to be discharged at 6:00pm the next day! I was so happy that we didn't have to stay in the hospital longer than a day and a half. We left, and made our way promptly to Barros, where we had our first family meal :)

The first night home went great! We were all alone, since my mom didn't come to stay with us until the next day. She slept great, gave us a good solid 3 hours between each feeding. We had decided that we were going to have her sleep in her crib, in her own room from night one. She looked SO CUTE in the big crib. Just a tiny little peanut. 

On June 6th my parents came over and planned to spend the next few days with us. We gave Izzy her first bath at home! She absolutely LOVED it. We have this cute little tub and she just kinda hung out in the water and her eyes got huge and so excited when we washed her hair. That girl knows whats up. We wrapped her up in this amazing froggy towel and I just about ate her up, she looked so yummy!

We spent the next few days just hanging out with friends and family. We had so many wonderful people bring over meals and come to visit. It really helped keep my spirits up and my emotions in check being surrounded by so much love and support. I never really got too crazy or experienced too many baby blues. I did have one meltdown in the shower on the day my milk came in. My body was just in so much pain. I was having a rough recovery and everything just kept piling up on me, and the pain was just too much at times. But I survived, and I'm stronger for it.

It is amazing to see her changing everyday. Amazing, and tragic. I always heard other moms tell me how fast it goes and to cherish every singly solitary second. And I believed them, but man, it goes even faster than I can keep up with. I feel like I look away for a few seconds and she is bigger and different and older and cuter than she was a few seconds earlier. It's a stressful situation really. But I have so enjoyed every single moment. 

Alex got to enjoy his first real Father's Day, and he just soaked it up so much. He is such an amazing dad, and just spent his day snuggling his little baby.

Izzy, here are some of my favorite little bits from this first month that I absolutely do not want to forget about you.

• The way you snort when you cries. It's so adorable and funny. We call you our little piggy. And we even bought you the cutest little stuffed pig, and look so cute lying next to it in your crib! I just love it.
• I love nursing you. It's such a special time that we share. I love looking at your adorable little profile while you eat, and I LOVE that it's a view that I alone get to enjoy. Also, when you eat you grab onto my fingers so tight and it's my favorite thing! I can't stand the thought of knowing that someday we wont share these moments and there will be a time when you won't want to hold my fingers. So for now, I am soaking in all of these moments as much as possible!
• I also love that you always cry when you are done eating. It's only for a few seconds once you realize that all the food is gone. You just love eating so much and it makes you sad when it's over. 
• I love getting "kisses" from you whenever you are hungry. I can put your lips up to mine and you make the cutest little pursed lips, and kinda suck on my lips or cheeks and I consider those to be you little kisses to me or your dad. 
• You have never been a fan of being swaddled, and from the very beginning, you have always slept with your hands up by your face. Sometimes straight above your head, and other times, just rest on your cheeks. It's the sweetest. Also, whenever anyone picks you up while you are sleeping, you arch your back so much and make the cutest squishy face I have ever seen. I'm still trying to capture a photo of it, because it's basically my favorite thing.
• You are still just so tiny and perfect. At your one month appointment, you weight 8 pounds 10 ounces and were 21 inches long! You still wear newborn clothes and use newborn diapers! I love my tall skinny little munchkin. 
• You sleep SO WELL. Literally you've been a great sleeper from the very beginning, and the older you get, the better you sleep. You consistently give us at least 5 ours straight, then you'll eat real quick, and go right back down for another 3-4 hours. It's perfection. You also give me 3 really solid 2-3 hour naps throughout the day. I get lots of snuggle time in with those naps. I love it. I'm not too quick to put you down while you're sleeping. I just love having you curled up on my chest, feeling you breath so slowly. I may have laundry to do, and floors to mop, but it's just not important enough... I just love you too much.

Izzy baby, thank you so much for making me the happiest mommy in the world. 

Isabel Paige McHardy {Birth Story}

This post has been in the works for a long time. I keep trying to write it, but then end up deleting what I write. This story is one of the most important and special and I want to remember it all in perfect detail.

2 weeks leading up to June 4th, I had a few dr. visits and I was dilated to a 1, but there was no change. My dr, Dr. Huff, asked if I wanted any help getting this little one into the world. I asked to wait one more week to see if things would progress on their own, but if there was still no change then I would be induced. We scheduled the induction for June 4th and 7:30 am.

Over the next 7 days, I kept having very irregular contractions and there were a few moments where I thought we might have this baby the natural way, but obviously that didn't happen.

So on wednesday morning at 5:30am I woke up and called into the hospital to see if there was a bed ready for me. They gave me the go ahead, and told me that it was time to have a baby! I hung up the phone and immediately started crying. If you read my previous post, you will know how absolutely terrified I was to become a mother. So the fact that I was willingly going into the hospital and going to be leaving with a little human was pretty much terrifying to me. I went upstairs and woke Alex up and told him that it was time to get showered, eat breakfast and pack up the car. He was so excited and jumped out of bed! We showered and ate, and right before we left I asked Alex to give me priesthood blessing of comfort. I bawled during the whole thing, but it was so sweet to hear Alex bless me with strength and a calm heart and to hear him tell me how much he and the Lord love me and how he cannot wait to hold our sweet baby and see me be a mother. I stood up from that blessing and felt much better. I kissed Alex, and thanked him for being such an amazing husband, then we jumped in the car and drove off to the hospital. That drive was one of the craziest of my life. I held alex's hand so tight, and knew that the next time I sat in the passenger seat of our car, there would be a baby in the backseat!

We showed up at the hospital right on time, and my mother in law, Lorri was waiting there for us. Since I was already registered, we were able to go into our room right away. We met our amazing nurse, Tiffany, and went through all the paperwork with her. We signed about a billion forms and learned about all the risks and different scenarios that I could possibly face. I knew immediately how lucky I was to have Tiffany as my nurse! She was perfect. Funny and easy going, but super informative and she gave me my space and didn't hover in the room more than she had too. She was also really great at maintaining my privacy, always asking if I needed space from my family who was visiting. We even had a code word! If i ever needed people to leave to room so I could get some rest or just be alone I would just ask Tiffany for some ice cream! haha and then she knew to get everyone out. Haha, I never had to use my code word, since my family is awesome, but it was so nice to know that if i needed to, she was there for me. Tiffany really was such a blessing in the whole delivery process.

At 9:00 I got my IV in and it hurt SO BAD. seriously, getting my IV in was the most painful thing to happen to me all day, if you can believe that. Tiffany checked to see how far along I was and I was only at a 2. Right after that, around 10, Dr. Huff came in and broke my water. I was so nervous that it was going to hurt a lot, but honestly I didn't even feel it. It just felt so strange afterwards, like i was peeing my pants. So that was weird. But right after that, the pitocin kicked in, and the fact that my water was now broken, things started happening so fast. My contractions got stronger very quickly, but I powered through for a few hours. To keep my mind off of things, my family and I played cards. It was so fun, and definitely helped keep my spirits up when things got super painful.

After a few hours, the contractions were getting passed the point of being tolerable. I had told myself that I wasn't going to suffer through the pain any longer than I had to. In my opinion, we have modern medicine for a reason, and there is no point in being in pain when there is a wonderful option for having relief. I wanted to enjoy my labor and delivery, and I knew that if I was crying from the pain, and being exhausted from trying to get though the contractions, I would not enjoy it. So at 12:30 I told Tif that I was ready for my epidural. She immediately went and got the anesthesiologist, and they asked my family to leave the room. Alex was allowed to stay, and the Dr. started to prep my back. He had me lay on my side and Alex sat in front of me, and held my hand. I was really nervous about getting the epidural put in, but it was over before I knew it. I barely even felt any pain. Everyone says that it feels like a bee sting, but it just felt like a regular shot. A tiny pinch, but no long lasting pain whatsoever. The dr. finished up and I started feeling relief almost instantly. My family came back in and I told them how great I was now feeling. The epidural was PERFECT. I couldn't feel my contractions AT ALL, but I could still lift my legs, and move around in the bed to get comfortable. My family left to go get lunch, and I took a nap for a good hour and a half, and it was just what I needed after our early start that morning.

playing cards and having contractions!

Tiffany came back in at 3:30 after I had woken up to see how far along I was. I was so glad that she just let me sleep, and waited until I was awake to check me. By this time I was already dilated to a 6!! Tiffany was AMAZED that my body had responded to the pitocin so well, and the epidural hadn't seemed to slow down my progress at all. She upped my pitocin, and said that she would be back in a few hours to check me again. Nothing much happened between then and 6:00pm. We just watched a little tv, and talked. My whole family was there and it was nice to have people around to help pass the time.

Around 6 I started having a bit more pain, and called tiffany in to ask her if maybe I could get a boost in my epidural. She went to call the anesthesiologist, and then came back in and checked to see how dilated I was, and was shocked when she realized I was at a 10! She said that she could feel the baby's head. Apparently, the pain I had been feeling was not my epidural wearing off. I was feeling the urge to push! At this point, things get a little blurry for me. Things started happening so fast. Tiffany ran out in the hall and called for Dr. Huff, and of a sudden there were about 8 nurses in my room. Some transforming my nice bed, into a pushing stirrup device, and some were prepping the warming table and getting it ready for baby.  Dr. huff came in at 6:10 and wanted to do a practice push. I had my mom hold one leg, and Alex held my other leg, and Mother in Law was there for moral support. I was so glad that they were all there. Well, my 'practice push' ended up being a real push. Her head started to come out, and I had to get an episiotomy. After that I pushed two more times, and everyone kept telling me how great I was doing. I don't really remember much about it. I just know that I kept my eyes closed the whole time and just found my zone and pushed like my life depended on it. She was born after those two pushes and I couldn't believe how quickly it was over. I started pushing at 6:15 and she was born at 6:35.

It was so amazing having her placed on my chest, but like I said, I don't really remember much from about 6:00-7:00... it's all a blur. But mostly, they had Alex cut her cord, then took her to get cleaned off while I got my stitches. The nurses helped get me cleaned up and put my bed back together. Then finally I was able to hold her. She was so beautiful. She wasn't too squishy, or bruised or cone headed. Her lips were perfection. But above everything, I could not get over how much hair she had! It was so so cute! I just enjoyed snuggling her and my family was taking pictures and videos, but I was just in my own little world. I couldn't stop staring at her. We did skin to skin for about an hour, and then all of the rest of the family came and so did our friends Mark and Hope, and Ali and Andrew. Everyone was so in love with her. It was so fun because as soon as she was born we turned on the Diamondbacks game, and she watched her first baseball game! To top off a perfect day, the d-backs won! What more could we ask for ;)

It was so great to celebrate with everyone, but I was happy when it was finally just me and Alex and Izzy. We just couldn't stop staring at her. It felt so natural to hold her and kiss her cheeks. I about melted into a big puddle of love when I watched Alex hold her and kiss her. We snuggled all together for a while, and then finally got some shut eye after a long, amazing, perfect, hard, wonderful day.

At 6:35 pm on June 4th, a 7lb5oz 20in long baby was born. And my heart was so full.

Dr. Huff delivered my youngest brother, and my youngest brother in law, and now he delivered my baby girl! 

i'm so sad this picture is blurry. i still love it though.

The Last Pregnant Post

You guys... I'm having a baby... I'm having a baby in the morning to be more specific. Actually, I may have already had her, depending on when you are reading this.

crazy.

It's weird to think that I'm going to be a mom. I mean, I know I have had 9 months to prepare my mind for this, but honestly I still can't really wrap my head around it. I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about this whole thing.

In all honesty, I'm just really really scared. So much is changing in just about 12 hours from right now (06/03/14 10:15pm). I don't even really know how to articulate all of my emotions. I am definitely excited. I can't wait to see what she looks like, and to see her little personality. But I'm afraid of the pain... because lets be honest, pushing a baby out of my lady bits doesn't sound like something I want to put on my everyday to-do list. But more than just the pain I'm scared to have so many things change within my day-to-day. I'm worried about my relationship with my husband. I'm worried I'm going to turn into a huge mommy-monster and that out relationship is going to suffer. I don't want to be mean. I don't want to be sleep deprived and angry and pushy and bossy and emotional. But I know that those things are basically inevitable. I plan on praying 24/7 for about 6 months after this little one gets here. I know that Heavenly Father is going to be the best resource for me to make it through this huge transition.

I'm scared about breast feeding. I'm aware that it's going to hurt and that I am going to want to give up pretty much 20,000 times a day. I'm worried about my supply, and the best schedule for pumping. I just feel so naive. I don't know much about pumping, or storing the breast milk, or bottle feeding and all the other things that come with trying to feed an infant.

I'm worried about sleeping schedules, and SIDS, and swaddling. I just feel like I can't even fully enjoy this new adventure because I'm JUST SO SCARED! But I'm hoping that being nervous is normal. That like in a performance, being nervous just enhances your senses and heightens your ability to adapt to new things.

I'm not stupid though, I know that it is all going to be okay. And luckily, I LITERALLY have the best husband in the whole world. He is SO calm, and SO excited and just so wonderful. I honestly couldn't do any of this without him. He is always there to reassure me that I can in fact do this. It will feel so natural once she is here and that I will be an amazing mom.

I'm so proud of Alex. It's so fun to see how excited he is. He is always talking to my belly, and telling her to cook faster. One day I just randomly asked him what he was thinking and he said "I'm just thinking about our daughter and how much I already love her." /dead. so cute. Oh, and yesterday was my actual due date, and he woke up and yells, "TODAY'S THE DAY" and I told him that it probably wasn't going to happen, and he just looked so deflated and said, "Man, this is worse than waiting for my birthday and Christmas combined!!!" Haha, It was so adorable. It's so great that he is so excited. He hasn't showed one ounce of nerves the whole time, and I'm so lucky that I can rely on him and lean on him for support and strength. Love him so much and I will always love him the most!

There's more than just fear though. I'm going to be really sad to not be pregnant anymore. I'm one of those weird  women who just LOVE being pregnant. It really has been such an amazing experience and I had such an easy time, I was so blessed. I love seeing and feeling her move in my belly. Watching her kick and punch and squirm is so fascinating, and I loved every time she would get the hiccups... which was at least twice a day. I felt so beautiful and glowy growing this little babe, and i can only imagine how not lovely I am going to be feeling once she is born and my body has been basically ripped apart. Oh gosh, lets not even get me started on the fears I have about all the postpartum pain I will experience...

With all the nerves and fears, I am excited to meet our little nugget. I already love her so much.

Baby Girl, I hope you know how badly I want to be the best possible mom I can be. You deserve the best, and I will try every day to live up to that expectation.

We're having a BABY!! <3

Baby Girl's Nursery

I've been wanting to share the pictures from the nursery for a long time, but I never quite felt like everything was ready, and so I kept procrastinating. But I figure that I better post what I can now, because this little child will be here any second and I know I won't have time to upload countless blog posts once she graces us with her presence.

So way back, when we first found out that we were having a little girl I just knew that I wanted her nursery to be purple. I've never been really big on the whole super-girly-pink thing, so I figured purple was a good balance.

Alex and I spend quite a few weeks working on the stripes and I'm super happy with how it all turned out. I think it's really fun and will be able to grow with her.

So here are some pictures of her cute little room. I find myself sitting in her room all the time, just imagining what life will be like once she is sitting in my arms in the rocker, or sleeping in her cute little crib. :)

Needless to say, this room will be a whole lot cuter once she is occupying it.

37 Week Update

I figure I better write at least one more update before this little nugget makes her grand entrance into this world. I've been pretty terrible at this whole updating thing. But honestly, not much changes week to week, so I don't want to get too repetitive. So I think that waiting 4-5 weeks between updates helps shake it up a little.

How far along?

37 weeks and 2 Days. I had a dr. appt. yesterday and I'm not dilated yet, but baby is head down, so I'm hoping for some progression in the next week or so.

How am I feeling?

I was just telling my dad how it seems like overnight I have just started to really feel some effects of the pregnancy. All my joints are sore, my back is almost constantly numb, my pelvic bones are sore, my feet are almost constantly swollen. No matter what position I am in i'm uncomfortable. Standing- my feet hurt, sitting-my back goes numb and I can't breath, laying down-my belly pulls and makes my back hurt. Haha, it's pretty bad. But honestly, I don't complain about any of this too much, because I know that it could have been so much worse for a whole lot longer. So in the grand scheme of things I'm still feeling good. I'm still able to do anything I want to do, it may take a little more effort, but I'm capable, so that's nice.

How big is baby?

Baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches.

Weight?

Oh gosh, I knew that my slow weight gain in the beginning was WAY too good to be true. Everyone kept telling me that I would gain the most weight in my third trimester, especially the last month. And boy were they right. Haha. I've gained a total of 27 pounds. Not horrible by and means, but i'm really excited to get this baby out, and begin dropping weight.

What do I miss?

Well, as I just mentioned, I am not too terribly happy with my physical appearance, and I really really miss working out. I worked out up until I was about 30 weeks along, just walking, or doing the elliptical, but it just got too painful and I knew my body was telling me to take it easy, so I haven't been to the gym for a long time. I am just dying to go to a Zumba class!! Obviously, I won't be able to do much right after she is born, but as soon as I'm able to work out, you'll be hard pressed to find me outside of the gym most mornings!

Symptoms?

We kinda had some interesting events last week. I woke up saturday morning and I could barely move my right leg. Stretching my foot, moving my leg, trying to walk, or even have fabric from pants or a dress brush my right side of my right leg was excruciating. I was slightly worried, but i just iced my leg and took it really easy for the next few days. It seemed to only be getting worse every day, and my tuesday I was really getting nervous and I kept having this feeling to just call my dr. and see what the nurses said about it. So I called that morning and explained my symptoms (swollen right leg, sensitive to the touch, no bruising, hurts to lift/move leg) and they expressed that I should go to the ER immediately to make sure I didn't have a blood clot. So I called up my dad and very nonchalantly asked him if he was busy and if he and mom wanted to come and spend the day at the ER with me. Of course, my parents are amazing and they rushed right over to the hospital. We waited for probably 45 minutes before being seen by triage, and then I was taken back into my own room and waited around to see the dr. There was way more sitting around doing nothing than there was actually seeing the dr. but they eventually came in and assessed me and ordered an ultrasound to check for a blood clot. The did an extensive ultra sound of both legs form my thighs down, and turns out I didn't have a blood clot! Great news... the super annoying thing is that they didn't go on to try and figure out what was wrong. They 'determined' it was a muscle spasm (bull crap) and sent me home. it was frsutrating to not have an answer and still be in so much pain and have spent my whole day (and a while bunch of money) in the ER. But it was so nice to have the peace of mind that it wasn't a blood clot and i could relax and get some sleep without worrying about the clot coming loose and dying. 

Woah, so super long story about one silly little symptom... haha, but yeah besides that I have been A-OK.

Side note(5-16-14): it's been a week and a half since discovering the lump in my leg and the having pain. the pain has pretty much gone away but I still have a huge lump in my leg... So I really don't think it was muscle spasm, but i'm glad it's feeling better.

Cravings?

Simple Foods. I have no energy to be cooking. I like frozen meals, cereal, and eating out at this point in the pregnancy. 

Highlight of the week?

• Lots of fun things have been happening since I last updated. 
• We toured Labor and Delivery, and got to see where I would be having Baby and met some super nice nurses. 
• We are almost completely done  with Baby's nursery. We have a crib and a dresser and all her clothes are washed and hung up and put away. I just have to hang a few things and I want to try and find a rug. But once that stuff happens I will do a Nursery Tour!
• We have been to a few baseball games in the last few weeks, and that is always SUPER enjoyable. Love me some baseball! 
• We had a pool party/bbq with some dear friends over the weekend to celebrate the beginning of Summer and I thoroughly enjoyed the weightlessness from being in the water. amazing amazing! I can definitely see myself practically living in my parents pool for the next 3 weeks until this baby comes.
• My mom-in-law and sister-in-law came over on monday to help me with some choir duties (Check out my choir Resonance) and we had a lovely afternoon eating pizza and just chatting. Love them!
• I've been nesting. Washing everything in sight, and organizing random cupboards and shelves. But i've also been getting my fair share of rest. I probably lounge around for a good 5-6 hours a day. Youtube, Pinterest and Hulu are my best friends. But honestly I just do not have the energy to do much more than that!

I love that we are getting so close to meeting our Little One. Absolutely terrified as well, but mostly excited. The other day we were driving in the car and I told my husband that I wish I could just turn around and see her in the back seat. I want to know what she looks like! I can't picture her yet, and honestly it's still kinda hard to believe that I will be a mom in a few short weeks (I got butterflies just typing that) but I do feel prepared, and I know that this is what Heavenly Father wants us to be doing, and I am so excited to start this new chapter. It helps a lot knowing how excited my husband is. He can't wait to meet his daughter, and it just melts my heart. I know he is going to be an amazing dad. I'm sometimes worried that he will be way better at this parenting thing that I will be. He is so calm and so patient, and loving, and I know that Baby Girl will have him wrapped tight around her fingers. 

Photo/Instagram Update

My Great-Grandpa Campbell passed away, and we attended his funeral services. I had always hoped that he could meet his Great-Great Granddaughter, and it turns out he was lucky enough to meet her in heaven before anyone else. 

We had an amazing Easter, hanging out with family, singing songs, eating amazing food decorating Easter cookies and just enjoying the day, remembering out Savior. 

Date night to the ballpark and a pitstop on Mill Ave. to enjoy our favorite Mexican Pops.

More D-Backs games!

Baseball with my mom and dad

36 weeks along!

my super stylish hospital wrist band.

Thanks for reading this far! The next baby update you see on here will probaly be the one where we have an actual BABY!!! :D :D :D